Earlier this year I felt like I was so far away from God. Life kept disappointing me, I was angry all the time, quick to react from a place of hurt and ultimately I was falling back into old destructive habits. One day after a hard shift at work my friend asked to pray for me in the parking lot. I was hesitant and honestly had no desire to pray. (I hadn’t prayed alone or with someone in weeks.) She could tell I didn’t want to pray, so she took away the option. She sat me down in the parking lot next to my car and she began to pray over me. As she was praying I felt this wall that I built between the Lord and I begin to crumble. My eyes were opened to the fact that I was running to social media as my source of comfort. I immediately knew that I needed to make a change.
This is only ONE example of a time in my life where I distanced myself from the Lord and tried to “soothe” myself with something else. The truth is, it didn’t work out. Nothing got better. I felt so empty. I was battling through anxiety and depression all by myself. I eventually realized that nothing could carry me through pain like the Lord can. I made the decision to delete social media for six months as a form of “detox” to refocus. Through-out the time I had, free from a social media addiction, I was able to re-center Christ in my life. When life was uncomfortable, I didn’t have anything else to run to, I had to run to Jesus. When I woke up, I couldn’t scroll my phone so I decided to reach for the Bible. This was the most growth, joy, wisdom, love and peace I had ever felt in my life. Not because I deleted social media, but because I put Jesus back on the throne of my heart.
We all have things we run to instead of Jesus. It could be any form of addiction, a person, a comfort tv show, reading books, or even as simple as social media. If you feel distant from Jesus, reflect on how you spend your time. What do you do through-out the day in your downtime? When you wake up or need answers, do you reach for your phone before opening the Word of God? What is taking priority in your life? If you feel like there’s something in your life that helps you “numb the pain” or “escape reality”. You will probably find yourself drowning in your emotions, never truly healing from the pain that lingers. The truth is, the things of this world will never satisfy us. The only one who can HEAL us is JESUS. Life won’t get better until you make the Lord your priority. He deserves the throne in your heart. He is always seeking to show you His love, grace and peace. But you have to be open to receive it. An easy way to open your heart to receive is to start prioritizing your relationship with Him. Seek HIM first. Everything else will fall into place.
Practical advice/reflection:
-Figure out if there is anything in your life that might be taking priority over your relationship with Jesus. If you find it- remove it. Recenter your life around Christ and watch how He moves when you allow Him to. (Pray and ask the Lord how long you need to take a break/give that thing up.)
-If you can’t find anything, find a daily habit you can start to deepen your time with Him. (Sitting in silence, journaling to Him, praying for strangers, etc.)
Prayer:
“Lord thank you for your unfailing, unconditional love. Thank you for having grace for us even when you’re not set as a priority. Forgive us for not seeking after a relationship with you above all else. Break down any walls we have built up. Remind us to seek you. Help us to be strong enough to change our routines making you the center. Amen.”
Verses:
Philippians 4:6
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for what he has done”.
Matthew 6:33
“But first, seek His kingdom and live righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”
Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take”.
Psalm 91:1
“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty”
Matthew 6:24
“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (highlights the choice of priority).
Colossians 3:2
“Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth”
Definitions:
Walls that I built – This refers to the disconnect that we can build against God due to sin, priorities, stress, hurt, not running to Him, etc.
Re-center Christ – Putting Jesus back at the place of priority in your life.
Throne of my heart – The ultimate authority and power in my life/in your life.
